Friday, September 29, 2006
3:35 PM
Wow, it's been a long time since anyone posted anything, two months and a day... guess I'll just pop one in now...
Was driving home from school just now when I gave some thoughts to the Christian life.
It's all about balance isn't it?
Everyone has their interests, dreams, passions to pursue, but at the same time we are called to live our lives for God, for the expansion of His kingdom.
And sometimes, the dichotomy between these two sides of our lives just seem too much to handle for me.
I guess it all bores down to what you consider worthwhile in this life.
Yeah I know, the idealists in all of us will surely put the things of God first. At least that's what I think pops into our minds first.
But if you really think deeper, how often do we put ourselves on the line for the things for God?
How often do we tell ourselves that so much is enough for God? And move on to other things we consider more worthwhile.
How often do we justify our actions by assuming that God understands?
How often do we forget about our God and come to Him only when we NEED Him?
Well, I guess your answers to these questions will show abit more of who you really are to yourself.
For me, its a struggle to set aside time to do QT everyday, when homework's at the back of your mind.
Its a struggle to set aside time to wait on God, when your heart is pounding due to that deadline some days later.
Its a struggle to live for God and not get discouraged by everything around you.
Its a struggle to sacrifice.
Its a struggle to constantly manage these two sides in my life.
One side that demands that I start to carve a future for myself now.
Another that calls me to seek the kingdom of God first, and all these things shall be added onto me.
We know this verse all too well, so often quoted that it seems a cliche.
But I'll be honest and say, for me right now, to do this is a constant challenge.
To resist the urge to rely on my strength to accomplish things that I can see and feel and know exists now. To not wait for things I cannot see now.
I had a lesson in faith recently. Sometimes, things happen for reasons that are not obvious to us at all. It really is up to us to recognize the times and seasons, and respond in faith and in wisdom.
I've been praying for my future for a long time. I suppose when something means something to you, and if you are not well-built in faith, you tend to worry and get anxious. That even though you are in prayer, you are not in faith.
Well, that kinds of describes me.
I asked God this, how long do You want me to wait? I've waited for so long and yet I still see nothing. What is the point of faith when I do not see materialized what my faith believed in?
I was angry and frustrated.
No answer.
A few days later, still no answer.
Then, it struck me when I stopped being obstinate and faithless, in those moments when you are quiet before God.
That the point of faith is to continue believing despite not seeing what your faith believed in regardless of the length of time. That is the point of faith.
I don't know about you, but when this dropped into my heart it gave me strength to move on, to continue believing.
There you have it, my lesson in faith. This life is about struggles, but I guess when we all understand that we HAVE ALREADY overcome at the end, it takes away the anguish and perceived futility. I guess when we all understand that God really has the better way, it takes away the struggling.
God bless
the vanman
+ AMEN
